A Season of Singleness

Why am I single? Why is GOD making me wait? Why is it so hard to find my mate? Why is it taking so long? Well, let me begin by saying that GOD develops your character to match the assignment. In other words, what kind of spouse will you be, want to be, or what characteristics do you need or your future spouse need you to have? The Most High will never send you on a mission unprepared so why would he give you a spouse whom you are not prepared for. As single individuals, we have to first love the Most High, love ourselves, and then we can love each other. You will be tested to see how much you love and trust the Most High. Testing: He tested Abraham when he asked him to sacrifice Isaac. After waiting twenty-five years for the promised heir, Abraham was faced with the painful decision to then sacrifice his son to the Most High. Imagine how he felt. Abraham was obedient to GOD, so GOD didn't allow him to sacrifice Isaac, thus he passed the test. The Most High will test you to see how much you love him as Abraham was tested in Genesis 22 verses 1 through 12. Let’s go there and read the first two verses, and they read as follows: “And it came to pass after these things, that GOD did prove Abraham, and said unto him: 'Abraham'; and he said: 'Here am I. And He said: 'Take now thy son, thine only son, whom thou lovest, even Isaac, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt-offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of." So, maybe he is testing your patience to show you what’s in you. Do you truly trust GOD to find you a mate, or will you lean to your own understanding. Don’t pass up this great opportunity to develop your patience and character so that you can be a righteous spouse to your future spouse. Let’s place our focus on loving GOD while at the same time loving ourselves in order to find contentment while waiting.

All The Single Ladies 

I don’t know the heart of man or woman, so I can’t and won’t speak on anyone personally, but generally speaking, there can be a myriad of reasons why you are single. I will only explore a few of the popular ones. 

(1) Healing From Past Relationships and this Could be from Family, Friends, or Previous Relationships

I recall in a past conversation, a spiritual sister spoke on past relationships and how they can hinder your present one. Why would GOD bless you with a spouse knowing that remnants of abuse, trust issues, chaos, foolishness, neglect, abandonment, cheating, etc. from your past relationships still reside in your heart? Without healing those wounds He can’t set you on a path to success without imminent failure. Your past may have left you bitter, angry, broken, depressed, or damaged and this doesn’t mean that you are a bad person, it means that you have a lot of healing to endure before you can be in GOD'S covenant of marriage. It’s called damage control!! You must heal before you can move on. I can attest to that. Right now, I love myself more so than I have in the past. Let GOD help you heal the wounds thus preparing you for your spouse. Don’t be in a hurry, for every thing happens in its time.

(2) GOD is trying To Help You Discern His Will When It Comes To Choosing A Spouse

GOD can and will guide you to the right person, all you need to do is discern His will and His timing. Ecclesiastes chapter 3 verse 1 says: “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Remember, your timing may not align with GOD'S timing. He will fulfill His plan for your life in His own perfect way and in His own perfect time.

Do you know what characteristics make a sister or a brother righteous? Are you an example of righteousness? Can you discern righteous behaviors in others? Do you only consider physical characteristics but ignore the heart? Yes, a beautiful body but a wicked heart!! Remember, what Jeremiah chapter 17 verse 9 says: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” GOD knows it and He can teach you what to steer clear of and/or what righteous ways to look for in a potential spouse. Abraham told his faithful servant, an elder over his household, how to choose a spouse for Isaac. Let's also examine how the elder prayer to GOD for guidance in order to fulfill Abraham's words. This can be found in Genesis chapter 24 verses 1 through 27. I will recite part of that process in verses 10 through 14: (10) "Then the servant took ten of his master’s camels and departed with all kinds of gifts from his master at his disposal. He journeyed to the region of Aram Naharaim and the city of Nahor." (11) "He made the camels kneel down by the well outside the city. It was evening, the time when the women would go out to draw water." (12) "He prayed, “O GOD of my master Abraham, guide me today. Be faithful to my master Abraham." (13) "Here I am, standing by the spring, and the daughters of the people who live in the town are coming out to draw water." (14) "I will say to a young woman, ‘Please lower your jar so I may drink.’ May the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac reply, ‘Drink, and I’ll give your camels water too. In this way I will know that you have been faithful to my master.” Never be afraid to ask for signs, and when you do, make sure to write them down so that you can be sure that person is the one chosen as your spouse.

(3) GOD Wants You to Pray and Never Cease

When seeking a spouse we must seek GOD'S will over our own and that comes through prayer. He is faithful and He will give you the desires of your heart. According to Psalms chapter 37 verses 4, 5 & 7: “So shalt thou delight thyself in GOD; and He shall give thee the petitions of thy heart." "Commit thy way unto GOD; trust also in Him, and He will bring it to pass." "Resign thyself unto GOD, and wait patiently for Him.” Maybe GOD wants to see how serious you are about wanting a spouse. Will you pray until you prayers are fulfilled or will you stop trusting in GOD and do your own will? When it comes to waiting for a husband, women, we give up way too soon, and vice-versa, men you give up too soon as well, then we start leaning to our own understanding of how and when we want a spouse, and what outer characteristics we desire instead of spiritual morality, which is the set of moral values and principles that guide a person's actions based on their spiritual beliefs and teachings. We stop praying and waiting for GOD'S timing because we don’t see any progress. What we don’t know is that GOD wants us to persist in prayer while at the same time preparing for this spouse. We see this throughout the Bible with women who persisted until they received what they were praying for. For example, let’s look at the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel Chapter 1. She was married to Elkanah, but she was unable to have children. She was vexed in her spirit because of it. She went to GOD in prayer and asked Him for a child. Year after year, she persisted in prayer, she was diligent, until finally, she was able to conceive and gave birth to Samuel. Prior to conceiving, she dedicated her child to the service of the Most High, and after dedicating Samuel to the service of GOD, she was blessed with five more children, according to 1 Samuel Chapter 2 verse 21: “So GOD remembered Hannah, and she conceived, and bore three sons and two daughters. And the child Samuel grew before GOD.” Likewise, Hadassah aka Esther prayed for her people even when it seemed like there was no hope. She didn’t give up on GOD or upon His ability to save them. So we must pray and never cease to get the blessings of the Most High. These examples show us that GOD wants us to keep praying, even when it seems like He isn’t listening or HE is ignoring us.

(4) What Are Your Reasons for Wanting a Spouse; They May No Align with GOD’S

What are your reasons for wanting a spouse, really? Are you seeking a spouse or a life-partner? Are your reasons material and not spiritual? What is your focus here? Proverbs chapter 16 verse 2 says: “All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but GOD weigheth the spirits.” Can you truly say that you are marriage material? Are you prepared to be with this person forever? Do you understand that marriage is a covenant, and it is hard to break a covenant? Do you understand that GOD hates divorce according to Malachi chapter 2 verse 16? Women are you ready to stand by your husband through thick and thin? Men, are you financially ready for a wife? Are you able to cleave to your wife, and be "one flesh" as commanded by GOD? Do you know GOD'S plan for marriage?  This is GOD'S plan for marriage: Man fulfills three purposes when he commits to the covenant of marriage, first he represents GOD in his image and in his marriage to Israel, his chosen nation; second, he is given a helper, a companion, who is his wife, who is equal to him intellectually, and are co-rulers over GOD'S creation, third to bring forth a holy seed as stated in Malachi 2 verses 14 & 15. GOD may be making you wait in order for Him to order your steps in righteousness. He also may be allowing you to go through this season of singleness so that you will bring Him glory when He finally gives you your spouse. Start a "Blessings" journal where you write down your request(s). Be specific in what you ask for. Also include not only what you want GOD to do in granting your request but also what you should be doing in order to receive it. All too often we are not prepared to receive the blessing. GOD blesses, we hinder or block our blessing(s). GOD builds, we destroy or tear down. Also, add the date of the request, and note how long it took for it to be fulfilled or not fulfilled. Sometimes, when the blessing is not received, we have to alter our prayer to align with GOD. Psalms chapter 105 verse 4: "Seek GOD and the strength He gives. Seek his presence continually." GOD blesses his faithful servants and oftentimes, not in the way it was requested.

(5) You Are Being Equipped For Marriage — You are Not Being Ignored

When you’re single, it is easy to focus on one’s own self, however, when you are married, the emphasis is typically on what is best for your marriage rather than what you are doing to honor GOD in your union. .Also, when you are single, it is easy to focus on GOD and put Him first. Will your marriage be consumed with serving your spouse while neglecting the Most High? Other questions to ponder is: Am I selfish? Do I have the necessary skills for compromising? What communication skills do I posses that will benefit this marriage? Do I have the temperament for marriage? Do I want to be married but live the single life? One has to place a great amount of thought on who you are and who you want to be and who GOD wants you to be with, and all of this takes time and preparation. We prepare for trips, jobs, purchasing vehicles and homes, etc., so why not take the time to prepare for a spouse. GOD will never allow you to go into something as serious as a marriage unprepared. Psalms chapter 127 verse 1: “Except GOD build the house, they labour in vain that build it”. Trying to build a house yourself is like building a house on a rocky foundation, yes, it may stand for a while, but eventually, it will collapse. He wants you to take this time to equip yourself with the wisdom, knowledge and understanding of His desire for marriage between male and female and that is to glorify him. Let’s look at Adam, GOD brought him a wife when he didn’t even know that he needed one. GOD in his infinite wisdom knows your heart’s desires. He knows what you need and He can develop or help you develop those characteristics that make you marriageable. Let him do his job and bring you your spouse but in the meantime, and in between time, equip yourself with the necessary characteristics for a successful, enduring relationship deep-rooted in the laws and love of GOD because he who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor of GOD according to Proverbs chapter 18 verse 22. That good thing, a wife, is found through the wisdom and discernment of GOD. Brothers, you have to equip yourselves with the wisdom of GOD when searching, and sisters, you have to be seen living righteously in order to be found. 

Many blessings on your successful journey to living a life with purpose, promise, prosperity, and peace! Shalom

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